One year cancer check..One whole year!!!

So, went to see the surgical team for my one year check up.
(Totally stressing out this morning… Like a rabid IBS nut bag!!)

Things to note from the meeting:
No tumour!!! NO TUMOUR!!!

Need to be watched for another 9 years due to the type of tumour it was, rather than five years. Slow growing so need to have a larger window of making sure no little buggers have come back (carcinoidlets..cute name right!? Need to watch out for them)All good!

I have permanently present pneumonia. I have formed a pocket of liquid in the void where the lobe was above the diaphragm. This is not a problem as not dangerous or infected. I’m like a camel! Storing for future.

And..surgeon has apologised to MY chiropractor, as he explained in depth what happened during surgery and effectively my whole shoulder unit was taken off and oiked over my head. This is why my collar bone keeps popping out..my shoulder is not in the right place. this should improve over time. So he’s sorry that chiro treatment has been strange, but that’s why and he hopes we can use the info to move on ….

One problem: May never get rid of the pain. This was a bummer, but if I know what I’m facing, then I can shuffle it into daily management. You know!

Also, I saw Dr Dishy Malcolm (my sister wrote the amazing story about him thwarting the tumour…) who remembered me and everything. He is utterly Hollywood hotness. Almost took a picture of him and not my xray… *sigh* oooh he’s gorgeous.

Aaand, my actual lungs were described as clean and healthy. He didn’t even ask about smoking, which I am taking as he assumed I don’t smoke Innit!! (Do not have a go about me smoking, I won’t listen, thanks for your concern)

So, xray attached…. Comparison from last year….

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2016 image of awesome

2016 image

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2015 image of not so awesome

2015 image.

Dammit that’s a good looking lung lobe.

Positive improvements!

And I now alao have a fit bit….Will keep you posted in how this gets me motivated!!!

Plus, got home from hospital today to find this thing of utter beauty:

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Cos, tell me… Who doesn’t need a fucking awesome, Mr. Arnold (my hero..”damn hate this hacker’s crap” *light another ciggie*) “hold on to your butts” mug???
Cheers Kizzywiggle, again you score perfection!!

Scars do not form on the dying

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I have been blogging now for about a year.
I started it as a way to get my thoughts together after the surgery to remove half a lung and the tumour buried within that lobe.

It’s been one hell of a journey.

I’m in remission.

Funny really, I only thought about that when my sister said it a week ago.

I’m not just recovering from surgery, I’m recovering from cancer.

It’s hard for me to say it as I do feel fraudulent about it.  I only knew about it for six weeks prior to surgery (I did have the tumour for three years before it was discovered), didn’t need any further treatment and have just been concentrated on the scar, the pain, the effect the lung removal has had on me.

However…..I have survived.

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I continue to survive. Like a boss.

I admit that when I stop being a stoic, stiff upper lip Brit, the pain is still terrible.  Mixed in with the Fibro I am very tired every day. I constantly hurt.
I’ve literally just sat on the sofa a bit too hard, hit my shoulder blade and it has set of a cascade of pain through my scar site.

Ow. But it also reminds me I’m alive. I’ve come through so much.

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Living is my next task.
Well done me for getting where I am now, but I want to LIVE.

To have fun, to enjoy things, my friends, family, days out. You know. Living.

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I know some days are still going to be hard, spoons will be a rare commodity… But I am going to live my life.

I am also due for my one year cancer check up in a few weeks. To be honest, never done it before, it’s freaking me out the thought that (miniscule as it is) there is a chance another tumour could be found. I want that day to pass with no scary news. To just be a year anniversary, count down a further four of these appointments and be declared cancer free and all clear.

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I’m good at surviving. I want to be good at living too.

My scar is a constant reminder of what I’ve been through.  Scars will fade.  As they fade my energy will increase, internal healing will have taken place, mental healing will be going on.
I will be ok.

I will be ok.

I’m the meantime, I will carry on with surviving. Living!!

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(Plastic ‘tache from a Christmas cracker, but I can carry that off, right!?)