Bloody busy week.

Saw my oldest bestest mate on Saturday and had a fantastic catch up and wander round. Had to miss last couple of opportunities, so over the moon I got to this one.
Munchies and gossip. Awesome. Love her.

In taxi on way home landlord phones to check if we want to still buy the house and mumble about if not we will have our notice served. We do but argh … Ffs… Not in a position to deal with this.
Tell them yes and we will get back to them.
Got home and had a total breakdown on phone to sister. Felt much better after!!! Just had to figure a LOT of stuff out, but had to wait because…..

Had best friends over to stay. High stress hostessing and unable to actually hostess due to this bloody surgery bollocks. Late nights. And I mean late. 3am plus both nights.
Took them to the castle (you have to visit it – you can’t not when in Edinburgh)
Spent 7 hours out of the house and did a lot of walking. And wind burn. it was very, very windy!
Pooped!!

They left and hubby went straight into house buying stress mode (understandably).
I learnt about buying a house very intensively. Im lucky, I’ve got great friends who offer great advice.

Kev from work popped round for a meeting on Thursday ..Spent the whole time feeding me rolls and advising me on the house.  Bless him!! (I’m aiming for cake next time).

Friday.. went to see my wonderful chiropractor and show her the scar and see if there is any treatment that can be given round my surgery, as my back is so very painful (been two and a half months since last treatment and I am a seized breeze block of doom) we worked out that bugger all can be done at the moment due to the internal bruising and the actual size of the scars. I’m back to see her soon for xrays and all.
Got a cab home and it was one of my regular drivers who I haven’t seen for ages..all my drivers are asking about me so he was over the moon he had stuff to report back to them. I find I have a very random social circle, but it made me happy they were asking after me.

Then…the meeting with the landlords.  All went well. we are buying the house (in principal).. Just waiting to be invaded by valuers etc.

Saturday, supposed to be going out but was knackered and had to cancel – I just needed to stay in.  I’m not getting a handle on what I can and can’t do very well. I hate letting people down but sometimes you just need to sit down..

Then, ironically, stayed up late (2am …now for me usually 10.30pm and I’m done) building and painting miniature for hubby.

Didn’t pick something easy as my return to the world of painting.

Thought I could kick back for Sunday, but I’m now jittery about all sorts, I’m spinning in my head, it’s been mental. Can’t relax.  So what did I do?? I put another model together…

And took some pictures of my hubbies models for a Facebook group album…

Stupidly I also thought I was ok to do a load of washing. Possibly not the best idea, but I’ve done it now.

I have one thing in the diary for next week and a special Saturday out. hoping desperately to be able to do these.

Then it turns out its my birthday. Where the hell did that pop up from ?????!!

What a week. 

Hmm.. doesn’t sound much reading it back but, seriously, what a week!!

It does worry me that I only have another 5 weeks off work, I need to get back up to speed but don’t know the best way…. Anyway, will figure that out.  Like with everything else, so long as I have time to crash out afterwards, no worries.

a modern type of barn raising….

Taken from my facebook page… I love this as a concept… we need to get this done!

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Hmm.. thinking. Getting on the housing ladder.
Most people who rent can afford repayments, but have trouble with deposits and all the jazz needed to get a mortgage for a property.

So…Crowd funding: set up a thing where people (friends, strangers, whoever signs up to the site) gives just a fiver. With no actual returns like in a kick starter. You would be registered on the site after giving, so could use it as a recipient of needed. Anyway…
Get enough people (I know it would be a lot of people), you have deposit sorted within a short time.
It’s like, people can afford a fiver at most points in the month so doesn’t cripple anyone financially to give, and you know you will get a lump sum sorted.
This does rely on a social concept of giving with no immediate return. (Possibly just a happy feeling).
As a giver, you could even afford to do it multiple times a year meaning more people could get deposit together, getting more on that important first rung.

I know this is probably doable, not by me as I haven’t the first clue as to how to set it up.

I know it is also probably very naive of me, but I like to think people are nice and would do something altruistic for a potential stranger too.

Ok, that’s my brain for today. enjoy the rest of yours.

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1st comment back: Thinking like this can change the world, but it would have to be presented EXACTLY as you have done here. I don’t want to commit two or three pounds a month to a charity that eats 60% of it in red tape and bureaucracy and isn’t even grateful. But a one off payment, to an individual, without tax to make their whole world better. Yep. I’d do that. And the thank you email you’d write to the crowdfounders would be epic, and not at all a pre printed pile of nonsense apparently penned by the tortoise you just sponsored. You are a genius, and the tiny parts of me that are not jaded really hopes you are not naive.

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2nd: I love this idea. It’s sort of ideal communism, and proper Big Society living. Genius.

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3rd:I love the idea of helping someone /a community I know and would appreciate help . Like xxxx says a big society . . It’s a win win .
Also going back to old values of be nice to someone and it’ll reap rewards …whether it be needing help yourself in the future or just having a glowing feeling from doing a good turn

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Seems like a positive feedback (admittedly of a small audience)..

I do love how my brain works late at night with a lot of stress buzzing through it..

If anyone knows how to do this I would be very interested in talking about it!!! 🙂

just a quicky…

Sometimes all is needed is the right voice at the right time saying the right thing.

Sometimes, you need to realise you are not on your own.

It WILL all come together in the end.

#happynotcrappy #topofthepile

You are a valued human being who has more to offer than you think.

Live and Laugh.

Pants. It’s all pants.

Being a lady over a certain size, sometimes you are faced with the problem of having to buy stuff because it fits rather than being what you wanted or even stylish. You panic in a shop because you want something new and it fits. you know??

Knickers… A very important thing. A decent pair will set you up for the day.. I like just a boring, standard, black, multi pack, low rise, high leg. Comfortable and boring. Everyday pants.

Staring at my tatty stash of old pants, thought I would grab some more as I was due to wander round asda later in the day (yeah, I am so classy, however I have been stuck at home recently so going out anywhere with clothes set my retail head ablaze).

When I got there, I went to the shelves and the ONLY set in my size were some ‘full briefs’.

Ah, I thought, what could be that different??

Right, got home opened the pack, pulled out the pretty looking, delicate black and white pattern (yeah, get me branching out).

As I opened them to the full size, I was almost knocked out by the pattern which translated up in size to something akin to battleship shock camouflage… I tried them on… Pulling up and up and up until I thought I may get to cover my nose.

FULL BRIEFS!! NOOO!  PARACHUTES DUDES, PARACHUTES!!! WITH LEG HOLES SO SMALL THEY ARE GUARANTEED TO CUT YOUR CIRCULATION OFF!!!

So, the lesson for today… Have patience in the shops. If you are looking for specific activity pants (not just eyebrow wiggling activity you dirty minded people… Some other things deserve specific under garments you know, for me it’s just sitting in my pj’s, it’s quite boring really), do not buy in an urgent manner and do not buy giant knickers just because they are in your size. it does nothing but really upset you.

I could possibly make five jumpers though, and for five quid that’s almost a bargain… Apart from the shock camo effect….

At least I own some Bridget Joneses. About 15 years late for the trend…again…

Oh, second moral of the story… Never throw old stuff away before you get back from the shop.  Happy to report I’m just mooching in my comfy old pants. Why I ever doubted them, I’ll never know.

Boredom and the fight against brain melt.

Having had 5 weeks where I couldn’t do anything, it has really made me appreciate when I am able to even sit up and write these… but I want to do more.

I have started on a huge project involving a “miniature” model of a dragon.  I will do a report on that once it is coming together more.  Fantastic thing, but I cannot do it on a daily basis.  It is quite huge and needs a lot of brain power and also control of my right arm to do the actual detail painting.  (because of where the scar is, it really mucks up my right arm and I am not allowed to pick up anything heavy..I am also really clumsy with my left arm, but that is getting trained!)

I am still learning what my body can cope with activity wise.  I WANT to do stuff, but brain and body are not on the same page. Still, went out yesterday to post some birthday presents and I was only out for a small time and I was pooped.

I have managed to do a small painting and send that off to someone…waiting for them to receive it before I put pictures up.

I am basically BORED.  and frustrated. bad mix.

I have plans and plans and plans.  I can’t wait until I am back up to strength as there will be almost no stopping me.   But for the moment I just need to keep ploughing on.  Every day bring something new.  For instance, the sneezing.  I have learnt how to cope more and they are not as bad as the first one, but it still has such an effect on my lung.  You take that for granted really don’t you!?  a sneeze is a sneeze…

However, things to look forward to:  Out on Saturday for cake and coffee with my oldest friend.  Next week my second oldest friend (and her Hubby who is my Hubby’s best mate) is finally visiting and will see the house for the first time since I moved up to Scotland. So things to look forward to…. 🙂

I don’t really know the point of this blog… but it keeps my grey matter ticking over!

I may even write better blogs.

Irony. That’s a sort of metal, right??

So I had a lap top delivered from work today so I can dip in and out to help with stuff as I still have two months recovery to go and stuff was really stacking up and causing issues . (I’m totally ok with this – my idea..I’m so bored it hurts!)

It was all set up and done by 2pm.
I’ve just done for the day at 5.44pm.

I normally only do a 5 hour day as it is. (The joys of part time).

So..YEAH…I really like working. How bloody odd is that?
5 weeks out the loop has nearly done me in.

I MUST NOT WORK MYSELF INTO THE GROUND.

I know….

I know……….

Terrific Tuesday.. little things that can cheer you up. And the fact my sister is ace.

I always like to see what the postman brings me.

Today was a fantastic card from my beautiful sister who has a knack of cheering me up to a level she probably doesn’t realise.

The card was ace, but her true knack are the envelopes. Unfortunately I tore it. But it said:
“This envelope has a history of OCD. It went through many countless hours of very expensive therapy in order to face the extreme trauma of being handled by people who may or may not have washed their hands.
And dont even MENTION the licking.
It hopes you appreciate everything it has been through, and all for you.”

Written in purple pen and covered in silver stars.

That is the epitome of anathema to bills.

I’m sure our postie reads them and chuckles.

I may even dig some of the others she has done out.  They are true works of art in their own right…
She is an envelope diva!!!!!

I love my sister. She is bloody ace.

A few things that make me happy.

I’ve got loads of time on my hands at the moment.

This gives me the unadulterated pleasure of mooching through tonnes of photos.

I have a selection here that make me smile, for various reasons…

Kiz n Kez end of 2014

A favourite dress up party. Moustache got wonkier as the night went on.

A comic relief day in my old office. We knew how to rock a giggle.

On hols in newquay with my mate. A day of raucous humour.. this was taken on an old disposable 24 shot actual camera. Actually had to DEVELOP it!!

I didn’t know this picture was being taken, I think I’m a bit excited..

Rome… Hot and cheesy… But what a great holiday with a great mate.

Holibopaversary. Arran. Beautiful. Husband…Beautiful!

Showing Kez my favourite things in the natural history museum in 2003 I think..

Awh, we are such cute babies. Me and Kiz waaaay back!
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Take time to make memories. Take time to remember too.
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And now I will go and do stuff.

Have a lovely Monday. Xx

I went out!!!

Only a quick one…

I made it out of the house for a non medical reason!!!

I live in one of the most beautiful cities in the world.

Had a very quick shop and then sat and looked at the castle bathed in Sun… Aah, the feel of Sun on your face!

Happy days!!!

February dawns.. surgery plus 31 days

Well, there you go. First month of recovery done and dusted.
Its been bloody hard work.  I have no idea if I’m on track, but I know I ain’t dead.
I’ve got sorting my tablets out to less then 15 minutes now…

No mean feat.

Scar is healing well externally. But I am so bruised and battered inside.  Having 55% of a lung out without the joy of micro surgery is a bugger. 
I feel very well in actual fact, the tumour was making me ill and I didn’t know about it, just all the low grade illnesses and random oddities.
Just so very bruised. And swollen.
It took me a few weeks before I was brave enough to actually get the details of what they did to me. Yeah, that explains the pain in my ribs.

Even when I feel like I’ve been dragged through a hedge by a wild horse, I can’t help but think it will get better. The docs have said three months off work.  I guess then I am a third healed. it can only get better. I have to have patience with myself (not my best skill) and not overdo things.

Currently I know that over eating hurts like stink as it ends up squishing up my insides and makes a rattle happen that is not only unnerving, but a very yukky pain too.  So, little and often..

I am hoping to actually go out today. Trying busses (certain amount of trepidation tbh.) Avoiding people bashing in to me as I navigate princes street (I’m not really thinking about that as I can’t imagine how painful that will be….) But to be out will be great.  AND I plan to get to Lush.  To buy my nephews birthday present..honest!

Hmm. This definitely comes under ramblings. I have avoided gory details of the surgery and wounds and stuff as I know it a bit everyone’s cup of tea, and I don’t know if I’m 100% happy with it. It may come out at a later date. I will warn if it does.

So…time to get dressed in something that is not pyjamas, put actual shoes on and do this thing….